Soo about last night…
I read something once a few years ago about us humans being funny creatures; we pick someone and decide we want to go out and do stuff with them (paraphrasing horribly here). I thought it was cute but it didn’t really apply to me because my friends have been my friends for what seemed like my entire existence. I couldn’t remember when we decided to be friends but we just always were. I don’t remember a time I didn’t know their names, birthdays, families. I don’t remember when I wasn’t going to their house to kick it or calling their parents “Mom & Dad”.
You don’t think about how to make friends as an adult because it’s not really something you do. You might go out with an existing friend and meet their friends; you don’t really exchange phone numbers or anything. You start seeing each other around and recognizing faces and then all of a sudden a couple years down the road you forgot that this person wasn’t always your friend. What if I told you that you dating and making a new friend are a lot more alike than you may realize? Hear me out.
For the past two years I’ve been “e-friends” with Steph. We “met” on Twitter and started hanging out online. According to my Twitter archive this started with the search for the perfect man and me suggesting Narnia or Middle Earth (I should Storify that conversation actually…) I’d tweet about awful dates (like the time I ended up at Struggle Corp), she’d laugh at me, we’d exchange witty banter and both wander off to either tweet more random things or other people. I’d say Steph and I probably connected once a week or so over some random joke or even to gossip about a television show. She was cool, I was cool so it would be only natural that we would be cool together; I mean isn’t that how the world is supposed to work?
Well, things with Steph and I kinda went much like it does when you start dating someone; had some common ideas, shared a couple laughs, I hopped into her dm’s on Twitter and we exchanged a couple of “We should totally meet some time” and set things up for Good Friday. We tweeted about how excited we were throughout that week and Thursday I sent her my number and she texted me hers back (I actually said to her that it was so NOT creepy when women exchanged numbers this way). It was set; I had a blind date with a potential friend. (See, told you making new friends was like dating :-P)
Steph and I met up on Friday and went to a favorite bar spot of hers. When I arrived she was already seated in the back with friends and she waved me over shortly after I walked in. Now what I didn’t tell Steph at that point (Hey Steph!) was that I basically walked in and looked at every black person in there like “Hmmm, is that her?” It’s not to say that Steph didn’t look like her pictures, but I’ve been catfished before and I wasn’t prepared to treat this any differently.
We hugged for long and smiles were plenty. She introduced me to her friends at the table and at some point I said “Well we just met” and everyone laughed and then someone said “No really, like you guys have really never met before today?” Steph and I started telling the story of how we met and the response from everyone was basically “I would’ve never guessed it the way you guys are so in sync” (I wanted to type N’Sync and make a Bye, Bye, Bye reference but it just didn’t fit…next time though).
There was dancing, shoulder bopping, jokes, 2 drinks, more jokes, washroom break, tequila shot, more drinks, more jokes, dancing, more dancing, “I’m not THAT kind of black”, tequila shots, beer, tequila shots, did I say tequila shots? Also of note was the “Let’s go to the strip club” (several tequila shots later) and Steph and I standing arm-in-arm outside of the strip club having a dialogue that went like this:
*Steph pulls the door*
Steph: It’s locked
Me: What do you mean it’s locked?
*I pull the door*
Me: It’s locked
Steph: I know! But it’s Friday, maybe because of the holiday?
Me: So, strippers don’t need to make money on Good Friday
Steph: Well, let’s just go back to the bar
Me: Might as well have some more drinks
Steph & Me (walking down the street singing): BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY! *makes the make it rain dollar bills gesture*
Yes, that was a real thing that happened the very first time we went out together. There’s actually more to the story, but Steph tells it better here.
This is basically what our summer is going to be like (including important negotiations like “I’ll drink half your beer if you do my tequila shot for me). Steph says she’s scared. I kinda am too but you’re not gonna see that part of me because #ThugLife.
Overall, the first date was a big success. HUGE! (2 points for the Pretty Woman reference). It’s also how we ended up where you see us right now. Steph and I are both creatives; we both write and after her tweeting me about going to the hair store for our “second first date” the idea for what you’re reading right now was born. Steph and I are gonna chronicle all 50 of our “first dates”, I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I don’t remember how my friendships became what they are with most people. How we met, where, at what moment we became friends. I honestly couldn’t tell you what I did the first time I went out with all of my friends; Thanks to #50FirstDates though, between the haze of drinks, food, adventures and dancing on tables, there will be at least 1 I’ll never ever forget.
Follow our adventures in friend-dating on Twitter and IG @berniandsteph and drop us a line to let us know what we should do for future dates at email@example.com
Keep checking the #50FirstDates & #whenbernimetsteph hashtags to see video clips, tweets and pics of us doing the damn thing!