Soo About Last Night…
If you’ve been with me since the beginning (yes, I know the blog is a month old and this is only my 4th post. Stop judging and pay attention), you would know that this blog came about after I went on a bad date with Captain Struggles to Struggle Corp. I wanted somewhere to document my dating struggles because y’all think I’m funny and actually read this stuff and I wanted to be able to look back on everything I went through once I had found #Him so I could laugh about the road it took to get to happy. I have to report though, the jig is up now. Let me tell you a little something about my love life:
Murphy’s Law used to be called B’s Law but they changed it because it didn’t sound official enough. If something can go wrong on my quest for love it usually does. For whatever the reason (yes, I know I play a part…hush) I seem to meet the most amazing quality douchebags this fine planet has to offer. I believe that this is my karma for the period in my very early twenties when I would charm men into falling for me and then after three courtesy phone calls never speak to them again make it very clear that I wasn’t looking for a relationship after getting out of a tumultuous one that had been off and on for almost a decade.
Good Luck Chuck is actually about my life. For those of you who are unaware, Good Luck Chuck is a movie about a guy named Chuck (duh) who notices the pattern that after he has sex with women they find their “one true love”. Y’all, Chuck be smashing chicks straight into matrimony with someone else! My dating life is very much like this; let me date a man that I think is awesome and as soon as that wraps up he’s sending out save-the-dates. Like I mean these men couldn’t even say “I feel like chicken tonight” and suddenly they’re jumping on couches and professing undying love for some girl they met in the self-checkout at Wal-Mart.
I’ve got the basic gist of “The Speech” memorized. You know the one that starts off with “You’re so incredible, you’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met and you’re going to make an amazing wife. But I’m just not able to stop chasing all the cooter this planet has to offer be the man that you deserve right now. It’s not you, you deserve so much better than the man I am so I want you to go out and find anyone but me someone who is good enough for you. When I’m ready I can only hope that you would still be available. Blah, blah, blah…” I have heard all variations of this speech in at least three different languages and it doesn’t change. Key points to remember are: how amazing I am, none of this is my fault, he’s undeserving, the finisher is I’ll be back #Terminator
Occasionally my heart and my mind conspire against me. So most of the damn time my heart is a hatin ass hater that makes all of these rogue decisions without telling the team. It’s like my heart is the captain on my team but ALWAYS forgets to call the plays before the huddle breaks. Suddenly, my heart is running a play and no other part of me knows where they should be or what they should be doing; my heart is looking around to make the pass as per the play that they didn’t tell the rest of me about and before it can get the shot off the clock runs out. We lose. My mind is a brown noser, so it stock piles all of my memories of good times and when my heart breaks my mind comes out all “Hey, I organized the good times in a perfect memory montage. Here you go!” End result: Depressed
I could probably keep going on and on but those are the really important ones and I don’t want to ramble on. So now for the part that is ironic about the current state of affairs in my love life. How does one make the decision to do a blog chronicling all of her dates, write about one date, accidentally meet someone through playful flirting and end up only wanting to date that person thus rendering the blog pretty much useless? Well, you can ask me since that’s where I’m at right now; if you follow me on Twitter you may or may not see me referring to #Him lately (that’s pretty much all you’re gonna know about him identity-wise). He kind of showed up out of nowhere and has been sweeping me entirely off of my feet.
I think the best part about this is watching this happen the way that it is happening; all the support and openness of a close friendship, all of the romance and lust of a relationship. It’s the perfect blend in my opinion and I’m happy with it. So in case you were wondering why there was a change in the direction of the blog that’s it. I met someone that makes me not want to go on another potentially disasatrous waste of time date with anyone else. He’s not my boyfriend or anything like that…yet. Right now we’re enjoying the part where you start remembering what it’s like to feel happy and invest in someone who is equally as invested. If it turns into a relationship then great, if it doesn’t then I’ve got a new really close friend and I’m grateful either way. I can’t say what it is exactly that’s happening, I feel kinda like The Grinch at the point in the story where his heart starts grown two sizes too large and he’s confused because he’s smiling but his face doesn’t do that.
There’s something I said once (yes EYE made it up) “There is nothing quite like watching yourself fall in love for the first time after your heart has been broken.” Here’s hoping the curse is broken.