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The Ex Factor

See I know what we’ve got to do.

You let go, and I’ll let go too.

‘Cause no one’s hurt me more than you,

And no one ever will.

– Lauryn Hill, The Ex-Factor

Soo about last night…

 

I recently listened to Jay-Z’s newest project 4:44 and after listening to it countless times I had a conversation with a friend of mine about it.  The conversation ended up surrounding the “4:44” track and breakups and how difficult the one she recently went through.  Continue reading

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#50FirstDates, Uncategorized

We Are Gonna Be Friends…

Tonight I’ll dream while I’m in bed, when silly thoughts go through my head;

about the bugs and alphabet, and when I wake tomorrow I bet,

that you and I will walk together again…

I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

-The White Stripes, We Are Gonna Be Friends

 

Soo about last night…

I read something once a few years ago about us humans being funny creatures; we pick someone and decide we want to go out and do stuff with them (paraphrasing horribly here). I thought it was cute but it didn’t really apply to me because my friends have been my friends for what seemed like my entire existence. I couldn’t remember when we decided to be friends but we just always were. I don’t remember a time I didn’t know their names, birthdays, families. I don’t remember when I wasn’t going to their house to kick it or calling their parents “Mom & Dad”.

You don’t think about how to make friends as an adult because it’s not really something you do. You might go out with an existing friend and meet their friends; you don’t really exchange phone numbers or anything. You start seeing each other around and recognizing faces and then all of a sudden a couple years down the road you forgot that this person wasn’t always your friend. What if I told you that you dating and making a new friend are a lot more alike than you may realize? Hear me out.

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Karma…

What goes around comes around?
What goes up must come down?
It’s called Karma, baby and it goes around

– Alicia Keys, Karma

Soo about last night…

Lately people have been coming to me with problems that involve babies. Whether it be that they are having trouble conceiving, they just found out that the person they thought was for them is having a baby with someone else or can’t have children, or that they are pregnant with a pregnancy that they aren’t sure they’re ready for. I’ve been listening to my friends and their pain and holding great pause at the end of their monologue so that I can offer them the right words to help them through.

I know there isn’t anything I can say to make them feel better really and there isn’t anything I can do unless I’ve somehow come into the ability to manipulate time and space. The torment is real emotionally and it takes its physical toll on both parties involved (provided that both are privy to the situation). I know there aren’t third parties who can make them feel better because there isn’t a third party who could make me feel better either; so I aim to provide insight. I aim to show them both sides of the situation in the hopes that they can use anything I’ve told them as a means of making a somewhat informed decision.

One friend of mine said to me through tears that he worried that he had missed his chance; that this was somehow his Karma for guilt-tripping women into having abortions back in the days when he screwed many and loved none. His penance for the pain he had inflicted on women whose only crime was that they loved him enough to believe his charming lies. He talked to me about how he had told a woman that he didn’t think at this time they should be having a child and that if she went through with the pregnancy she would be raising the baby alone because it was unfair of her to force him into parenting when he wasn’t ready. Continue reading

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Fading Away…

The good times we shared alot, when you really cared alot.
Like steam from a coffee pot, it’s fading way.
Fading away, fading away.
You’ve changed and it’s showing, baby.
You’ve changed and it’s showing.
Tell me, where is your love going?

– Temptations, Fading Away

Soo about last night…

 

When you’re a kid you get a new toy and it’s the most amazing thing ever. It’s exactly what you’ve always wanted and God help the person who thinks they’re gonna be playing with this toy at all, let alone more than you. You take this toy with you everywhere, it’s your go to for everything; show and tell at school, road trips, bedtime, if you can manage to convince your parents to let you bring any ONE thing out of the house it will be this toy. Now after a while, things with this toy will go one of two ways:

  1. You’ll put it down one day and start playing with something else and eventually that toy will be something you only remember if someone else wants it or if you see/hear something that reminds you of it.
  2. That toy will always remain your constant companion and you’ll keep it with you until you are grown and even then you might keep it like I kept some of my stuffed toys from my childhood

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What I Need From You Is Understanding

-Xscape, Understanding

Soo about last night…

I’m a mother.  My son is turning 14 this year and if it’s one thing that I can say about him, it’s not often if at all that I have to repeat myself to him.  Generally if we have a conversation about something he did/is doing that I don’t like, we both get the opportunity to speak on it and changes are implemented as required on both or either side.  I mention this because in relationships it should be the same way.  If either of you have a concern you should be able to speak about as adults and subsequently agree on and execute a resolution.  Recently, I’ve found myself and people around me feeling like we’re not being listened to and/or no one has a damn to give about how anyone else  feels with regards to certain things.

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Previouscats

I’m not to blame for the pain 
That was caused by previous cats
You gotta see me for me

– Musiq Soulchild, Previous cats

Soo about last night…

The scariest thing about getting into a new relationship after you’ve had your heart broken is trusting the new person not to hurt you.  You can’t help but have this fear because a brokenheart always leaves a scar. 
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Newness

Everything is cool when love is all brand new
Cause you’re learning me and I’m learning you (it’s cool)
Cause you’re learning me and I’m learning you

-Musiq Soulchild – Newness

Soo about last night…

It’s Springtime.  First of all, thanks to this bitch season for finally showing up!  I was almost convinced that we were gonna remain in a tundra until Fall and then Winter would repeat itself.  

A long time ago, my girls and I would all pile into one of our parent’s apartments, sit on the balcony and talk about guys everything we could think of.  The first 20+ day of the year would unexpectedly roll through and by that night we were getting ready to go for a walk and talk about what we knew as “Spring Fever”.  It would be that feeling that would come over men and women alike that would lead us to make that “What’s up?” phone call or send that “How have you been?” text.  Spring fever is what made good girls bad and bad boys busy.

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